We have lift-off! First AQ book goes live...

This is a quick note to celebrate with our online community.

After three and a half years of gestation, our first book project is complete.  It is a work of Heart which poses the question, "How do you feed the stars?"

Incidentally, NASA scheduled its final shuttle launch this week.  Interesting...

The Oonahnahmae Universe book really began to take shape spring of 2010, when Jen decided to paint as much a possible, in between day-job shifts.  We discussed my ideas in the poem and how it related to the world of the Aquarians.

Jen pulled together her thumbnails, talked to me about imagery, incorporated our storylines and characters from The Aquarians and kept on painting, and painting, and painting -- detail after minute detail...for over a year!

Once interior pages were complete, we collaborated on cover design and book dedication.  After which, Jen passed all paintings to me, and I began a steep learning curve.  Publishing is not in my realm of experience.

I worked through equipment and design challenges.  Made more interesting by having a US based publisher --- Most of all, my children kept cheering me on.

Jen and I were never sure of how (or when) our work would culminate in a finished project.

Baby steps.  Keep going.  Problem Solve.

I am happy to announce The Oonahnahmae Universe went live today and is available through:

http://www.trafford.com/Bookstore/BookstoreHome.aspx

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/rebecca-christenson

Thanks for sharing this step as we work to become the best visual storytellers we can be.

The Oonahnahmae Universe project has begun its public life -- in the same way a baby is presented for the first time.  It's a joyful process, but you are almost too tired to know that the delivery occurred.

Here's to everyone discovering their Bowl of Light!  Go ahead and dump your pesky pebbles out...

Mermaid LemonAid - Outing the Easter Bunny

"And you can break yourself free from your hereditary patterns, cultural codes, social beliefs; and prove once and for all that the power within you is greater than the power that's in the world."

Michael Beckwith

Last night I had to face my part in the "great cover up".  I can no longer lie to my children about various magical (fake) creatures, for the purposes of...what is the purpose again???

As bedtime approached last Saturday, my youngest worked herself into a terror about a giant rabbit in our house.  It didn't matter that it came bearing sweet treats...or that it might be tiny...or cute...

I tried to settle the kids numerous times.  Every time I shifted weight (while sitting on the floor between beds), they gripped my hands "Don't Leave!"

Hmmm...how could I calm them?  I tried various reassurances, even saying I would not let the critter in, instead it could leave things outside the door...then I'd hide the eggs for him...  Then realized -- this is stupid!

Why should I make it okay that a "something" was allowed into our home, to bring them treats???

Soooo -- I outed the bunny -- My oldest was very mad at me for lying (rightly so).  The younger was relieved I would have treats ready in the morning.

Then I was asked "Why did you lie?"  "Why to parents lie?"

Why indeed?  I don't want to condition kids not to trust themselves.  I don't want to condition them to be manipulated by their parents.  Hmmm...

Good questions -- hard questions to answer in an age appropriate way...I kept talking until they stopped probing.

I continued to wonder (after they were sleeping...).   Is it because of the hierarchical structure and higher ups lying to us?  Is it because parents need to play make-believe and can't get there on their own accord?  

"When you know better, you do better..."(I heard that on Oprah - not sure who to credit).

Ending a lie is easy, but you need courage to face angry fallout (by those lied to).  I took the anger.  It was deserved and soon we were giggling.  I got the new title "Easter Mommy" and was asked to hop out of the room.

I obliged.

I spoke to my girls about miracles (their life for starters...), which make a rabbit doling out junkfood seem --- well --- silly.  It's still fun to make treasure hunts for kids, so why not just do that openly?

New life and rebirth celebrations are relevant and important, but one look around these days and it's apparent when and how people take it  too far.  No matter -- it's the pendulum.  Our family will find its midpoint one day at a time.

Wishing you a Bright and Joyous Spring in Your Steps!

Sacred Sight - Half-Way to Morning...

This week there has been a deep chill in the morning air.  Although it creates beautiful frost, heavy fog and moisture...sink into my marrow.

This week, I also began waking an hour earlier -- to make time for yoga.  In theory I told myself I'd stretch at night.  In theory I'd put the kids to bed, set out my mat and limber up.  I have a sedantary job and my neck and back doth protest...  Yoga works out the kinks -- from a position with more than just ergonomic challenges.

I remembered Faith Hill tell Oprah about her schedule years ago.  She said she woke at 5am to workout.  I thought she was crazy.  Now I don't.  There comes a time when you know yourself well and accept your limits.  There is a time when self-care becomes priority.  My body likes to sleep by 10. 

Ironically, this entry is being made very late (or should I say early).  What can I say?  Strong coffee and Olympic highlights. 

No one is more shocked than I!  I would rather get up in the morning, than stay awake at night?  One of my kids is an early riser as well.  I love the ability to wake with a smile...

"Hello Day!" was how my almost-brother-in-law told me he greets the dawn.

February and March however, challenge morning joy.  By now, I feel internal groans.  My joints creak.  The soft white blanket of December's twinkling flakes, have crusted into banks of snow mould. 

My feelings clarify emotional improvement is required.  This business of is-ness can vex and liberate.  I have to make a daily commitment to choose the latter -- which is "Sacred Sight".

This is the time of year when Canadians meet Canadians in tropical zones.  So much for learning about a new culture!

This winter I work on trying not to seek tropical "escapism" and be --- well, cold.   Or problem solve and create appropriate barriers against that which I can not change (and could hurt me).

This winter I work through some Canadian axioms -- temperature must contrast and life is boring without seasons.  I don't know if it is boring to see green all of the time, I haven't tried that yet.

I do know that I am in a potentially harmful environment and certain things are required to survive -- wool, down, touques, mitts...

Is potential frostbite better than potential malaria?  Do snowdrifts differ from sand dunes?  Am I built for this climate?  Some blubber and burnable skin indicates yes --

BUT would I have blubber if I swam in the ocean each morning?  Do I collect it on my body only to stave off cold I was not born for?

Accept and Reflect

This is the first winter I accept where I live.  This is the first winter I unabashedly use my coats of varying thickness.  I maintain a constant core temperature during the thermometer's inevitable mercurial dance.

This is the first winter I do not complain about what needs to be done -- to offset cyclical actualities of the earth axis issue.  I do not to take tipping away from the sun personally.  It is not about me.  It just is. It's the same every year. 

The voice of an angel:

This heavy-misted morn, as I relaxed into child's pose, my daughter tiptoed behind.  Settling onto our cold (leather) sofa, she grabbed a too-thin throw and struggled to cover herself. The heat was turned up, but something in the air...

She spoke barely above a whisper as I shifted into seated meditation -- (eyes closed):

 "Mom..."
(I open an eye) "Hmm...?"
"In these times, half-way to morning -- I want to crawl into your bed, with more the more big blankets."

I agree, but for the first time in my life, I don't quit yoga to get comforted and cuddly -- I am not finished grounding.

Half-way to morning is a great metaphor.  We are half-way to many symbolic awakenings -- the earth into spring, humanity into innate kindness, the solar system into it's 13,000 golden-age cycle, etc. 

I even thought about the word mourning too and wondered how that fit in.  Sometimes I feel half-way finished mourning who I thought I was -- Night Owl included!

I am all-ways awestruck by children's phrasing.  Half-way is a nice place to be...a journey is still implied, potential is ever-present, yet one can also breathe a sigh of relief.

Half-way is half complete.  There is a sense of accomplishment in doing.  You may be on the top of a hill, in a moment of stillness, enjoying a view.

These mornings are mystical.  Fog haloes the street lights....Branching trees, thick with white, strain to reach into our window for some thawing of their own...

Did we make this cold world tangible through collective agreement? 

As I accept this landscape, will I be free live in others?  Hawaii or any comprable tropical locale???  (Oops -- not part of the acceptance speech)

Is-ness action

I finished the meditation, chilled from lack of movement.  Then I went down the hall, took the duvet off my bed and tucked my morning friend into a cozy bundle.  I snuggled up beside and we chatted about dreams. 

I am spiritual, not religious.  People adopt and discard dogmas as per their journey.  I love inspirational quotes however, regardless of attached theology.  I am thankful to live in an era where I am free to learn from all belief systems. 

I don't know where christian identity ends and reiki begins, yoga enlightens or buddism creates flexibility.  I have dear friends around the world, worshipping at will, a myriad of deities...I honour the unique journey to one-ness, each of us is on.

At this point I feel like the result of divine curiosity --- and found the inner divine through seeking the world.  Initially, I was a frustrated  belief gypsy.

One modality or set of teachings only worked for a time, then I was compelled to switch to deepen my practice, again, and again -- until...

I conclude: I am that I am -- the unending practice.  This is expansion -- there is no end.  My comfort is now the...undefined.

The quote below -- was found in Elizabeth Gilbert's book, "Eat, Love, Pray..."  These words are an astute description of The Aquarians' journey.

"Our whole business therefore in this life,

is to restore to health the eye of the heart whereby God
(or All-That-Is *)
may be seen."

- St. Augustine.

If the above quote is too churchy for some..."Hello Day!"  works.  Every day.  Across the board. 

(* my insert for non-denomonational clarity)

Mermaid Lemon-Aid - On Motherhood...Wing-Mom's...Dreams...

Mama - Maintenance:

I have been a Mom for 8 years now...

It is the most difficult work I've ever done and simultaneously, the most rewarding.  Positive feedback is ongoing.  I try to do my best in each developmental phase.  I plan age-appropriate and challenging activities...within reason.  I'm not a martyr. 

I'm a human being.  If there is something I'm not enjoying, I stop.  I'm not much of a joiner for the sake of it.  I say "no" when I want to, with increasing awareness for my limits.  "No" is a positive expression and dear friend of sanity.  Good intentions and being spread thin, don't support my family fulfillment, film career (or afternoon napping when needed).

That said, there are many things I can not say no to, regarding children.  Acquisition of food, clothing and shelter are a full-time pursuit.  Kids demand your time and attention despite day job, business or flu related fatigue.  You can drag your butt around adults, but kids rarely let you get away with it. 

Enter the Wing-Mom or should I say Winged?  (meaning Angel):

My younger sister, Amy, recently came up from Calgary to help on a birthday party weekend.  We tag teamed prep and both had fatigue related illness interject  -- When I was laying down she was up and vice versa.  The party was something my daughter looked forward to for weeks, planned and arranged...I was not able to say even a tiny "NO".

At one point Amy stated, "So this is what parenting's like..."  I said, "Not really...not for me anyway."  I continued with "This is what it would be like IF there were two parents working together."  Amy's been a great partner through the years with the kids...and during business events. 

The hostess with the mostess!

Having a Wing-Mom was such a gift.  We pushed through pain together, pulled off the party, crawled home, put the girls to bed and laughed over a glass of wine and jell-o mould antics.

Children Taking Flight:

As my daughters grow, hands-on requirements lessen, but mental challenges keep me on my toes.  Why does this person do that?  Why is the world like this?  Why? Why? Why?  I keep it honest.  If someone is unkind, it's usually because it has helped them get along in the world -- it's not right, but it just is...it would help them to change, if they see a new way of being.  Show, don't tell.

I teach the girls about energy exchange and even "grown-ups" may try to take energy....and the best response to hurt is to heal, anger is love, etc.  Be the change you wish to see...which becomes easier as they have opportunity to practice...

Nurturing the Dreams of Children:

We share our dreams and they see me pursuing mine.   I want them to.  I want them to do what resonates with them, to make the world a better place and see the work required to bring dreams to life.  They see my process...the mess of cables, the cluttered desk, the felt markers, drawings and photos strewn about.

I also got to see this in my youth.  Mom and Dad pursued their careers in tandem, surrounding us with their dreams...inviting us to their worlds...Dad was on various construction sites and the farm.  Mom took us to school to work on bulletin boards, watch science experiment trials and lesson planning.

We were always welcome in their working environs.

I continue to watch them discover who they are in retirement.  Self-discovery is a never ending road.  I hope my girls feel comfortable in and out of post-secondary education throughout their lives.
 
Children's dreams for us:

After considering all the opportunities I want for children, it surprises me when they want opportunities for me...

Last night I had prepared a sample family video DVD.  The girls love watching themselves as babies and in general.  This is the unparallelled education of parenting...kids teach us as much or more, than we teach them.

My daughter said, "Mom, you make really good movies!".  She looked at me wide-eyed --- an earnestness came over her..."really good...Papa should make you a building in a big city, so you can work."  Then she looked around the room...

(Side note: my digital equipment had taken over the living room and covered the coffee table.  Cables ran from a camera on the tripod, to the a/v inputs on the TV.  A huge collage of film concepts for act 1, 2, and 3 has taken over my longest bedroom wall - floor to ceiling!  In general -- when the kids go to their Dad's, our two bedroom apartment transforms into a working production studio). 

Then she looked at me shyly and continued, "then maybe people could come, see them and maybe want to buy them?"  I choked up.  She quickly said, "Only if you want to!"  I said she was right, that is the direction I'm going with my work.   I told her she discovered the truth of every dreamer.  To work at what you love AND receive income... 

I explained we won't be selling family movies...but someday there will be films I want to share with the world. 

I was so grateful for her pure statement of appreciation.  This is the first time she's seen really seen what Mommy can do.  Most of the time they see Aunty painting or other Aunty's travelling post-cards...but I'm cooking, cleaning, doing dishes and laundry.  But now, they are older and in school, giving me more time to work on my business. 

Kids like to see their parents thrive!

I have been working for me a long time now.  I love putting images to music...collaborating with others to make beautiful work...and had just decided to "go for it" the past weekend, with a wee camera and consumer level software...

I'd like to upload a a higher-res version of "The Tide is Turning", when I upgrade from consumer software.  Right now compression and frame-rates are a challenge.  the red-one, a mac desktop (with two monitors) and final cut pro are coming at some point.  Maybe I should go visit Santa too??

New tech-toys aside, I was e-chatting with a friend from SAIT last night.  The digital age and going tapeless has helped multi-media creators.  What took me 8 hours with my consumer gear yesterday, would have taken days (and $$$$) in film school; shooting, developing, printing and digitizing film... that's not including audio capture on Nagra reels...huge hard drives for effects rendering...and lest we forget the beast (the Steinbeck)!

Mer-Maid Lemon-Aid for Mom's and Martyrs:

I keep on keepin' on.  I work hard on my connection to source...as hard as I do making lunches, supporting dictee (french spelling tests), incorporating family events and fresh-baked muffins for breakfast...I love both of these worlds equally.  I do have it all.

Life is work, our joy comes in finding work that fills us up, rather than depleting.  I will have a building someday to work in...With an ocean view, fun collaborators and dolphin swimming. 

Dream Big and Often!

MerMade LemonAid - Oonahnahmae Backstory...

 I would like to share where The Oonahnahmae term originated.

When my youngest daughter was 2, she was fluent in her own language. Full sentences, inflection and complex wording were part of her communication. Despite the detail, none of us "grown ups" could understand her. I could feel and see her frustration with my attempts to decipher, many times to no avail. 

Mothers however "feel" their children, so most times we could understand each other.  My  own mother, an elementary educator (with ECS specialization), was admittedly blown away by the skilled phrasing. There was a sing-song nature to her complex "baby" language.

My relatively untrained ear, likened it to Hawai'ian, with ooo's and aaaa's and broken vowels. 

Advent of English:

Then, almost overnight, my daughter was speaking full sentences in English.  It seemed a concession to work with us, rather than spend anymore time being frustrated and misunderstood.

One instance of her immediate command of "our" language was when my Mother wanted her to stand on the coffee table (to have the height to wave out our living room window)...my daughter refused saying, "Nana, that's too dangerous for me." We (Mom, Dad and I) gaped.

The Magic Hour:

One evening shortly thereafter, during the ritual tuck-in, my eldest child fell asleep quickly.  The younger and I engaged in sleepy chatter. 

(I never know what topics will surface in the moments between wake and sleep. This night, no exception.)

Suddenly she was alert, "Mommy, we didn't feed the stars their supper!" I was surprised.

The dietary practice of stars, have never been much of a concern.  Puzzled, I inquired, "What do stars eat?" To which my moon-lit toddler responded, "Stars eat songs." 

I said, "Well I guess we'd better feed them." She told me what words to sing and I joined...(in her language, as directed).  She sang herself to sleep.  This earnest expression, one of the most beautiful things I've been a part of...

Tears slid silently, down my cheeks as I thanked the Universe for such beauty.  "Oonahnahmae" was one of the words from the song.

As the kids slept, I swept stray hairs behind little ears.  Gratitude flowed for this peaceful home as well, a place where voicing the starsong was possible.  I sat on the floor between the girls' beds for quite some time, pondering these kids, my life and how this would influence what was to come.

I decided to listen...more than I speak...just listen...  Then I listened to my favorite sound in the world, the girls' regular, peaceful, breathing....the simple, beautiful, breath of life.

The Miracle of Unconditional Love:

Oonahnahmae describes a method I use to create unconditional love (especially in difficult cases):

If I have trouble loving someone, I imagine them as a 2 year old child, in a moonlit room, tucked into their bed and singing to the stars...

I include a loving Mom or Dad, ensuring sleep comfort, wanting the best for the tiny body before them.  The parent looks forward to the human being growing, knowing it is a priviledge to share time with the child...

---This part is very helpful to me...---

If a person may not have had such a parent, my love envelopes that child moreso.

My love, however, is only part of it...Each person must learn to love their own inner 2 year old, unconditionally, parenting the self as such.  Love must be self-creating and self-sustaining.

This illustration is but one metaphor for such a journey...

The Gestation Period:

Most people know creation takes time. Our working process is continual, we make notes, study our environment and experience life, which may not be referenced for years to come.

While The Oonahnahmae storylines clarified, we worked with concepts, paintings, thoughts and words for over two years.  When creation comes after incubation, it is swift and sure.

MerMade LemonAid - Choosing a Pole Shift

The following poem was done in about 10 minutes on Valentines' Day 2008. I was feeling sorry for myself, because I couldn't be with my daughters at the time (they were at their other house).  In my darker times, I go to the water (in true MerMade Fashion).

LemonAid - A hot bath and cup of tea and thoughts on what I cherish: Breathing, Life, Love, Children, Family, Friends, Writing, Photography, Music, Films and Nature.

I don't write music (yet), but sometimes sing it to the tune of Amazing Grace...

The Oonahnahmae Universe

As day meets night and colors gray, 

the wee folk gather near.

To feed the stars, the children say, 

and heal all those who hear.

Each child of light, with chorus strong, 

can guide us to the source.

If listen we, to love’s sweet call 

and gently shift our course.

In harmony, folk lead the way,

through woods of Ae-Morin.

Their beacons bright, o’er snow-capped peaks, 

to gather lost souls in.

Soft child of night, you strike a chord

and change the world through song.

We thank you all for being here 

and humbly join along.

- Rebecca Christenson (Valentine’s Day 2008)

May you experience Uni-Verse-All love in each moment!