It never crossed my mind, that the blog theme lately, of elders leaving the planet, would include an entry dedicated to my Grandmother. Her vitality was leaving her many years now, so hers is a fitting conclusion to this exploration.
Mother Nature
Forest Waterfall - Jennifer Christenson 2003 (Oil on Canvas 36 by 24")
I was lucky to have had my very own Mother Nature. My Grandma. She was everything I ever wanted a Grandma to be (whether she knew or would ever accept this fact -- she'd probably say I was "fussing").
She was instrumental in my personal, intellectual and spiritual growth.
Grandma could be likened to a Scandinavian Brighid. When at her best, she was stoic, giving, welcoming and constant. I would go to her house to recharge, relax and review life.
This is a copy of the memorial I wrote for her tribute ceremony, which I'm posting for my family, especially my sister Amy, who was in Nepal when Grandma crossed over.
Grandma’s Memorial
(Written by Rebecca Christenson, Presented October 29, 2011)
Grandma meant a great deal to us. We, the 17 Grandchildren and 3 Great-Grandchildren have our own moments to appreciate. Our anecdotes are endless.
My sister, Jen, and I were recently discussing her two lives; the farmer’s wife and the independent woman. I was fortunate to have known both.
Since it is so close to Halloween, I’m going to quote Glinda, the good witch. I think Grandma would have really liked the musical Wicked.
“I’ve heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are lead to those, who help us most to grow,
If we let them, and we help them in return...”
Grandma shaped our lives in many ways, we’d like to share a few:
Speak your mind
Grandma had opinions, formed by the paradigms of another era. Sometimes, we’d agree to disagree.
- Her idea of a good relationship skill was ironing.
She’d ask me, “Isn’t it enough for you Becky, to watch your man in a nicely pressed shirt, out in public?”
I said, “Sure, if he did the ironing.”
To which she responded “But! You young people...”
- She also wanted to cut all long hair.
Listen
Grandma might have had many opinions, but she was also good at sitting back and listening to conversations (while puttering in the kitchen during large gatherings).
Give
She showed she cared most, with the investment of time. She seemed to take pleasure in getting to know each one of us.
Many times when I was feeling alone in the world, I’d pick up the mail (usually full of bills) and see her handwriting on an envelope. She was a great pen pal.
Keep your door open
She always had a cup of coffee and baking at the ready -- for the life-worn visitor. Her home was, for years, a haven and landing pad for all of us.
Be Adventurous
If something strikes your fancy – do it. Don’t wait for anything. Not for people, weather, or loads of money. Go. Do. Be.
If you want to fly to Yellowknife midwinter...she said, ”Why not?”
Be a Humanitarian
Grandma used to deliver meals on wheels. It was interesting to see younger people in need, get food delivered by a little old lady.
Create
Grandma was an artist. Whether she was renovating home or cabin, breaking trail with a mower, cooking masterpieces from fridge contents or – doing pottery...Grandma was always making something.
When she got tired or wanted a new perspective, she enlisted the grandkids to; mow cabin trails, paint flowerpots and her out-house.
Support the Arts and Artists
When not creating, she was enjoying; music, films, theatre and the food of other artisans. She was upset when people didn’t develop a talent.
Love the Children
Grandma definitely had a soft spot in her heart for children. I think they were her gateway to innocence.
She could get silly with us. One time, when Jen and I had a sleepover, she took our hair elastics (without us knowing) and put tiny ponytails all over her head. We weren’t sure what to think.
She would invite us by age groupings, to sleepovers. Grandma pancakes and floats were on the menu.
Often, she’d discuss injustices affecting little people, the world over, not understanding how anyone could hurt children.
Then, I would see this stoic woman, cry.
Clean
When things get you down, work it out by working. Don’t sit and wallow too long. And open the windows! Fresh air makes everything a little bit better.
Freedom!
Nothing said freedom like a thermos of coffee, sandwiches and a full tank of gas. Even in our very last conversation, the topic of driving resurfaced. She was always baffled when people didn’t want their driver’s license.
She was also known to tell her granddaughters:
“Husbands dying before Wives, is nature’s way of giving women time alone.”
Receiving
One of the saddest lessons I’ve learned, was how to receive. Grandma wasn’t the best at accepting help. The kind she’d always given others; housekeeping and cooking.
Grandma treated her kids differently than us Grandkids. It was not easy. We thank our Parents, Aunts and Uncles for giving her aid, to the best of their abilities. Grandma has sometimes been a challenging teacher.
A New Era...
Grandma beliefs were private, but if she’s defying gravity somewhere today...I hope she accepts that, none of us have become pilots...(yet!)
We are, however, the next generation of teachers, international travelers, train engineers, government workers, insurance agents, university advisors and students, professional drivers, artists, cooks, lawyers, marketing associates, parents, writers, school children and toddlers....
...Quite a legacy left by one small woman, in one small city.
We love you Grandma, wish you peace and say thank you for:
- - Helping our parents raise us.
- - Safe places to fall.
- - Showing us work ethic.
- - Inspiring creativity and independence.
And as we acclimate to this transition, processing grief and healing, I hear you say...,“This too shall pass.”
Grandma with five of her six children.
The Hearth
Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Neices, Daughters (and women in general), tend to provide a place for people to gather, the
Hearth
Grandma's, was a life well-lived. We raise our glasses to your life and for giving us life, saying...
SKOAL!!
