Monday, May 31, 2010

Sacred Sight - "Get Busy Living"



Where am I?  Who am I?

As a visual artist and screenwriter, I struggled with the point of my skills...I wondered if it was valuable?  Did I have anything to say?  Does it matter?

Matter -- a fascinating concept....

For a long time I was passionate about camera equipment, then the identity/notoriety of being "in film" and finally, leaving a legacy.

One day however, I realized that whether or not I "made it" felt empty.  As far as film is concerned, I've made no-thing.  I was somewhat paralyzed by wanting my opus.  Too much time was spent thinking of what others thought of me...not what I thought of me.

I use my skills every day, but never how I'd expected. 

Life, on purpose...

I think the best summation regarding purpose I've heard, comes from a Wayne Dyer interview, on some of the best advice he's received;

 "Don't die with your music inside of you."

Aquarian Starstone Chart - Rebecca Christenson - 2005
(Created as a storytelling tool after researching leylines)

What uplifts me?  What music do I actually make?  So far it's pretty pictures and random graphic design, laced with the odd poem and reams of data downloads.  As time progresses, I am able to see patterns and make sense of my journey.  I think?

Mind-prisons are interesting and necessary, until they aren't...

This leads me to contemplate the character Red (played by Morgan Freeman), in The Shawshank Redemption.   The monologue from Red's third parole hearing is a great screen moment...

Now that my cage doors are opened and I have freedom, what do I do?  What about world peace?  What about walking in the sunshine and diving in the tropics? 

Do I go forward, or freak out and do something that will send me right back into personal lock-down?

Me in Trunk Bay - One of the biggest surprises of my life - 2006

Red walked in an uncertain daze for awhile.  He was unable take a leak without his Manager's permission.  Programming takes time to undo...

Who are "They"?

What fills my time now "they" are gone?  There is no one telling me who I am, what I should like, how to be, who to love, determining my personal value?  Transitions are not easy.  At times I look around at a world I don't feel part of, and know what it requires to rejoin...but stop myself.

I don't want that world.  I wait in the space in between for some indication of life-path...and assemble random creations, all part of a bigger picture.

"First Telling" Sample Book Cover - Aquarian Creations 2008
Artwork by Jennifer Christenson - Layout Rebecca Christenson)

"Get busy living"

Red began to follow a treasure hunt set up by a friend who loved him...

I'm doing that as well.  Personally, there are vast treasures awaiting discovery within.

AND, in a tradional-epic sense, the global grid of sacred sites awaits reactivation... When we re-member how...They'll lay dorment, as long as it takes.  Much like Red's out-of-place obsidian, beneath a conspicuous oak tree.  

Am I courageous enough to want my version of Zihuatenajo?  It is "not too much to ask".

"3 Friends on the way to Molokini" - Rebecca Christenson - 1998
"I hope I can make it across the border.
I hope to see my friend and shake his hand.
I hope the pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams.
(beat)
I hope."
Screenplay by Frank Darabont 
(based on the Steven King Novella - 
Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption)

Hope implies a better future... 

I know it isn't very Zen or Now-ish, but I am an eternal optimist.  I accept and love what is, while making daily improvements to my world.

Time is an illusion unto itself, besides hope springs eternal!